12/29/09

Conrad Confessions

My fun-loving mother so sweetly nicknamed me Conrad when I was oh-so-little. I recently asked her why and she honestly can't remember other than she knew I hated it proclaiming "I NOT CONRAD!" Much teasing went on in our house. We were merciless with the teasing. Conrad would get to me, but there was one name, two simple little words (or just the acronym would do), that you didn't dare utter unless you wanted to start the WWIII....


C.B. eerrrr. I shutter to think of it! it stands for.... sigh... Cry Baby. argh!


C.B., C.B., you're a C.B. .......evil. evil. evil.


And, I WAS the baby in the house. the youngest of two... But, it wasn't just me that these words could bring to a boiling temper tanterum, oh no! not just me. :) Right Nache? Yes, my sister couldn't bare to be called a C.B. either. We were all awful in the teasing department. I beleive this is where I learned to find a lot of humility.

Not only a blonde moment, but an Amy moment

Well, I'm not a nurse, doctor, chiropractor, or any other professional whom would have had to deeply study the human anatomy. However, I've been told that there are some things that we somehow should just know.. like, Da!

These are the things in life that often escape me... I'm the "da".

A key factor into this Amy Moment is that this had taken place very early on in my dating relationship with Brandon. Much before we were ever living together. This is back in the day when we actually had those things you call "dates". This is key.

So, we're spending some cozy time at my place; just hanging out and watching TV. Brandon was sitting on the couch and I came over to sit on his lap (like young couples do). He responds "oh, don't do that. I have to pee & you're pushing on my bladder." I stared at him - I'm sure as though I thought he was full of hooey. (that's sh!t in Amy language).

He says "What? I really do have to pee." And, in my infamous wisdom, I unfortunately respond "Ya, but guys don't have bladders."

Seriously, I'm not sure why he didn't run for the hills.

He thought we'd entertain this theory and asked "Well, then where do you think we keep it?" and, in yet another bright moment I answer "In your peeny." (girls have hoo-hoos)

In short, I was wrong.

This has been a favorite family story. In fact, it was shared with his aunt, uncle and cousin on their way to see our new born neice. As we were all oogling and awing over little Hannah, I was asked about bladders... nice.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as they have because I'm fairly certain, I will never live it down!

Machinery + Amy = bad times for Brandon

Well, I've done it again folks. My handy work has caused my husband a wee bit of stress and work, and possibly money. So, it's winter in MN and with that comes snow and snow plows. Now, I'll build my defense... there was NO snow on our driveway and it had not been snowing. Therefore, who would think to look for large piles of snow at the end of the driveway? That sneaky snow plow came by left a nice gift at the end of our driveway, but who knew? not me.

So I blindly back out of the driveway and not until my back wheels had gone into it and I heard the loud crunching and scraping of the underside of the car did I realize that I'd done a bad thing. But I was half way thru, so what can you do? So I continued across and into the street. I put the car in drive and accelerated, and it seems, but I can't be certain, that the car is a bit throaty. So I test it, and yes, it's true. crud. Luckily for me, this was our older Grand Am and not the newer Mazda. but still..

Learning from my mistake, I decided not to do the same thing twice when I returned home. So I parked on the street and got the snow blower out. I started to try to clear the snow, but the snow blower was not chewing thru it. This is when i learned it's actually ice and that snow blowers do not chew thru ice very well. So the thing clogs and shuts off. I panic, because this is Brandon's new toy. I cleared out the ice and with great relief it starts back up. I pull the lever to spin the blades and there's a loud clunking sound. aaaaah crud. I swiftly put it in the garage and get a shovel to finish the path. and then I anxiously await Brandon's arrival home from work.

He recieved the news about the car well... but not so much for the snow blower. I really, really, really hope that it's minor. maybe a piece of ice is lodged in there and all it needs to do is melt? can I be that lucky??? we'll see... I keep his life exciting. I'm pretty sure.