Little Lou Laughs

Gavin Scott Altman

2010-09-22T14:47:00.006-05:00

Wow. What an amazing last 8 days. Yesterday marked Gavin's 1 week birthday. He's such a peanut. I cannot imagine life without him. We've had our struggles and learning curves, but nothing compares to when he smiles or when he sleeps so soundly on my chest.

Born September 14th, 2010 @1:35 pm 6 lbs 4.8 oz 20 inches long

Monday Sept 13th (my due date) Brandon and I did chores around the house. we bathed the dog, cleaned out the garage, organized the office closet, burned all our brush, etc. Around 3 in the afternoon we decided to go to Ridgedale mall to get his watch fixed. We got to the mall, parked, and as soon as I stepped out of the car i felt a gush of hot fluid - like I was peeing my pants. Brandon came around the car and asked if I was okay. I said I think my water broke or I'm peeing. We grabbed some old clothes from the trunk to put beneath me and we got back in and headed back west - straight to Buffalo hospital. along the way my contractions began. I was surprisingly calm. Brandon was a bit frustrated because unfortunately it was now approx 4:30 and rush hour. to top that off, we got stuck behind a tractor on the back roads. but we made it safely and in plenty of time. I'll never forget the feeling of being wheeled into the ER lobby with my pants soaked down to my ankles and people looking at me and smiling, with looks of "oohaaah" on their faces. And I was mortified to have wet drawers.

We got up to our labor room and they got me situated. The checking of the cervix is something that was excrutiatingly painful and I wish to forget. And I was lucky enough to get mine checked multiple times and by multiple nurses with boney fingers and knuckles because apparently I was not dilated at all when we arrived. In fact, I wasn't dilating much at all during my labor.

The details of the labor are fuzzy. Brandon was an excellent partner. He was there thru the whole deal, holding my hand, reminding me to breathe, standing with me and rocking me back and forth. It was my intent to not take any pain meds. However, sometime during the morning of the 14th my blood pressure was too high and I was told I needed to take something. They gave me the option of a pain killer that I could only have once every 4 hours and they couldn't garrauntee me it'd last for all of that - plus, the baby would get some of it. or the epidural. I decided to take the epidural. the process of getting the shot wasn't great but not feeling pain anymore was great. And I think it gave Brandon quite a bit of relief as well.

Also, at some point, they gave me a gel that was supposed to ripen the cervix. at which point I was told I couldn't move for an hour and Brandon took the opportunity to go to our recovery room for a short nap.

When he came back to find that the situation had barely changed, I think he was at his wits end. He'd done really well keeping our family posted as well.

At 10 am on the dot, it was time to push. I remember telling Brandon at 10 to 10 that if there's anything he needed to do, now was the time because at 10 it's time to go. I'm not sure what he did, but he left and came back at 10 along with nurses. Because my legs were numb, nurses and Brandon had to hold my legs while I pushed. Luckily, my doctor was on duty and she was able to deliver our baby. for whatever reason when it came time to push, my contractions slowed down. I was in the most compromising position ever, with my legs in the air and a baby stuck in the canal and the contractions slowed. they had given me some potoson to increase the contractions. The baby's head was right there, but just wouldn't come out so they used a suction device. they tried two different types and lost suction 4 times. it did help some, but didn't get him out. the next option, before a c section was the forecepts - or as we like to refer to them as the gigantic salad tongs. After taking a look at them and the doctor saying I'd probably tear with them, I said we'll keep pushing. I beleive it was 3 or 4 more pushes and we succeded.

after three and a half hours of pushing, our little Gavin was born. a total of 22 hours in labor. wow.

everything was going really well. the baby was healthy, my diabeties was gone, I was healthy, Gavin didn't have any side effects from the diabeties, etc. So we thought we'd be able to be discharged the following night, Wednesday. at about 6 Wednesday evening Gavins biliruben results came back and they were too high. they said we could still be discharged and they were going to give us this light bed to take home and treat him there. It gave Brandon and I both anxiety and we decided to stay another night. That night Gavin spent the night in the nursery under lights to break down the biliruben. In the middle of the night I couldn't sleep and went down to the nursery to see our baby. The emotions hit me then and I started to cry. on my way back to the room, the crying turned into sobbing. I woke Brandon up and told him I needed him. He held me while I cried my eyes out. Poor guy, when I woke him up he thought something was wrong with Gavin. I felt much better after my cry.

Thursday we got to go home.

9 mos. reflection

2010-09-12T08:17:00.007-05:00

So I'm horrible at keeping up with writing. I feel I should put down some reflections of the last 9 mos before the Wee-One gets here... Tomorrow is my due date. That's me, Last Minute Lou! :) Here are thoughts and memories, at random.

Right now, I'm feeling not only nostalgia, but also anxiety, fear, lack of control, sadness, happiness, contentment, love, relaxation, etc. I think the list goes on, but I am at loss of words for the rest of it.

This past Friday was my last day of work for the next 3 mos. I don't know yet if it's truly set in. Kinda still feels like I just left early Friday for a long weekend. I can't remember ever taking more than a week off of work since I was old enough to work. In fact, up until the last five years I'd always had more than one job - as many as 3 - at a time. This break gives me a mix of "aaaah" and a bit of guilt for feeling it. Like I'm a slacker and quiter. I know I'm about to start another new, big, all-encompassing job, but that hasn't really set in yet either. I've been at my employment for the last 8 years and in my current position for the last 6 or so, and building my position and role within the company. Up until lately, I was the only one that knew my job. I've lost the sense of security that came with that. I really hope they miss me!

My boss is taking over my main responsibility of selling and managing our sales reps. He's truly been a huge support and a rock in my world, not only thru this pregnancy but always. I know he is doing everything he can to make this transition easy for me and he's really taking on a lot to make this work. I'm so appreciative! With Brandon being self employed now, my job is ever so more critical to our family. I also know my boss is a bit nervous that I may not want to return - He's said it multiple times. There's a huge amount of trust in the balance here - me with him wanting me back and he with me wanting to come back. It's crazy. This will be the longest stretch of time that he and I don't talk or sit and visit. We generally b.s. most every day if not every few days. I'll miss that.

I feel like I've been doing a lot of pissing and moaning lately and doing a lot less blessing counting. The thing of it is, I've become very uncomfortable, anxious and scared while everyone around me is purely excited and happy. "oh, you still haven't had him" is making me insane. I also can't call anyone without "are you on the way to the hospital". seriously. Beleive me, I want him here as much if not more than the next guy. Also, no one wants to talk to me about anything but the baby anymore. I realize that this is a major part of me now and that once the baby is here, no one is going to want to see me or Brandon, we're just the people that bring the baby. I just want some sense of normalcy. I guess I gave the normalcy I knew up 9 mos. ago. This baby is truly a blessing and I love him so much already. When I imagine holding him, all of the above paragraph fades. But let's get on with it already! LOL

So like I said, Monday (tomorrow) is my due date. I really, truly, to my core thought that he would be here before my due date. I don't know why, but I did. Aside from the gestational diabetes, I've had a very smooth pregnancy (knock on wood). No morning sickness, just a few episodes of uncontrollable sobbing. Everyone tells me that I've handled it really well, better than many. My boss said he was most impressed with my demeaner at work and especially considering I don't have a low-pressure, no-brainer job. it makes me feel good to hear, but like most people, I just remember breaking down in the conference room during an internal meeting and my other boss thinking something had happened to Brandon because I was sobbing so hard. but I guess that was just 20 min of 9 mos.

Tuesday is our next doctor's appointment. Last week the doc said that if he's not here by now, they'll be inducing me next week. And if I'm not dilated, that it's a longer process and I have increased chance of ending in C-section. I read that in the US 50% of births are now by C-section. I suppose that provides some condolence, but not enough. I know several people that have had them and they all say it's no big deal. I really, really didn't want it. I didn't even want an epidural. I just wanted to give birth and have all that came with it naturally. I'm insane, I know. I'm working on coming to terms with the fact that I may end up with a C-section. I think now it's the inducing that scares me more. The fact that they make you give it the ol' college try before they'll do the C-section seems incredibly cruel. Especially if I'm not dilated and they know my chances of C-section are really good. I can handle natural pain, it's forced, unnecessary pain that makes me panic. I guess the up side to it all is inducing appeals to my planning nature and also allows those around us to make plans accordingly. So that's happy.

With my increased irritability, discomfort and self thrown pitty party, my husband has been a trooper! Brandon's been so supportive and so thoughtful. Last week he brought me home a gorgeous boquet of flowers. Very bright, full, and good smelling. It was perfect timing and so very needed. I had actually considered buying myself flowers when I was at the store, only to get home and find he'd gotten them. is that cool, or what?! With my back hurting now, he's been giving me lots of back rubs and allowing me to lean on him. We have had a couple date nights - this weekend we went to our favorite little spot in Hanover and during the wait he let me lean against him. Last weekend we went to Redstone and then a movie. Redstone is a special place as we only go there but once a year. It was such a nice evening. just the two of us. He's been so good during this 9 mos, I just really hope that I've been not too big of a damper or pain in the ass. When I asked him what he wanted to do this weekend, his reply without hesitation was "have a baby". :) I think he's ready too!

It's funny how our roles have changed during the 9 mos. Earlier on, Brandon was a nervous mess and I was calm and collected. Now, in the final stretch of it, I'm coming unraveled and Brandon is cool as a cucumber. Last week he was really busy with appraisals and he wasn't able to make it to the doc appt. It's a good thing that he had work - we need him to take the work when it comes since it's feast or famine. But going to that appointment by myself, holy crap. I was a mess. We had some questions we wanted to ask the doctor, but I froze. She had questions for me, but I sat there with my mouth agape and staring at her. Thankfully, she said we could have another week to either have the baby or at least improve on the dilating. With the diabetes she doesn't usually let you go past the due date. I was in no position to make any decisions on my own. I know Brandon felt really bad about not making it, but what can you do?! we also need him to work. But Tuesday, he'll be there and so we'll get all our questions asked. It's crazy - if he's there, I'm not in the least bit nervous. I know that whatever happens, we can handle it together. But on my own, I'm completely incapable of even speaking.

I've truly enjoyed my pregnancy. Like I said, it's been fairly smooth. I have always had cronic back pain from scoliosis and aherniated disc, but up until lately, my back has not hurt at all during the pregnancy, not even my normal pain. I had even helped lay a paver patio in our back yard and felt fine. I almost thought that maybe the displaced weight straightened things out and gave momma a new back. Baby's getting a new car! oh, but no... now we're in pain and lots of it. Ever since he dropped, about 4 weeks ago, my back pain has been increasingly intolerable. it's the burning, throbbing hurt of my disc. The doc said that they could be practice labor pains, although it doesn't really come and go. it just hurts. I think it's the increasing weight being carried down low and causing pressure right in my problem spot. Thank God that this has only been lately. I think I would have been a huge not-nice-person had this been the case for much more of the pregnancy.

The diabetes hasn't been so bad. I've been able to manage it with diet and the diet isn't terrible either. It's not a low fat or low carb diet - in fact they want me to have calories and carbs, just an exact amount of the carbs. It's been all about choices. If I want milk, then I have less or no potatoes. If I'm really hungry, I skip the milk and load up on bread or potatoes. It's a lot easier to manage with a meat and potatoe diet. It's the pastas and mixed foods that makes it difficult to count how many carbs. And it's a real bummer to get a measuring cup out to dish up rice. and at restraunts, if I don't know what's in it, I just don't get it. So, there are certainly foods that I miss. Like Spaghetti O's. And the kicker of it all is, with the pregnancy I've finally found a sweet tooth. I've always been a salt eater over a sugar eater. never cared for pastries or cakes. but the baby sure likes them! I love a good glazed donut or cake now - and since the diagnosing of diabeties, I haven't had a donut. My sister made a killer sugar free cake for my baby shower. So I got my cake fix. I've also found comfort in sugar free jello and whipped cream! :) The hardest part of it all is that when I'm stressed or if I don't get enough sleep, then the diet doesn't work as well. My sugar levels are high and there's nothing I can do.

Speaking of diets, Brandon has lost a bunch of weight thru the pregnancy. He'd read in his daddy book that men tend to gain weight with the wives. He said screw that and he's been eating healthy and going to the gym several times a week. He and I are nearly meeting in the middle for weight! damnation! He does look good tho! and I am oh so jealous. My weight isn't actually that bad either. I'm within the allotted weight gain that my doctor gave me initially, which is fairly impressive considering diabeties causes excess weight gain for momma and baby. I can't wait to start slimming back down and feeling sexy again. Rana said she cleaned out her closet and that means Amy gets a new wardrobe! love that girl!

Meg threw me my friend baby shower and did a marvelous job. She's so detail oriented and crafty. She'd made a diaper cake, filled a rubber ducky bath with random baby stuff for people to do a memory guessing game, decorated baseball sugar cookies, had people decorate onesies, had people write bits of advice to the baby and take their picture with a baseball cap, did a nursery rhyme game, gifts for guests that won, and had a spread of diabetic friendly foods. After the party, Meg, Joe, Brandon and I sat around and played games. It was a good day! Jul. 10

Kristen threw me my family shower and also did a fantastic job! Especially considering it was a mixed crowd. I was comfortable and I thought everyone else seemed to be as well. Kristen had tables and chairs set up, a table full of baby stuff for price is right, gifts for guests that won, a badge for me that said it's a boy, she took tons of pictures of everyone, and had a spread of diabetic friendly food. I really had a great day and felt very honored. Rana came to our house afterward and we watched a movie and then I crashed. Aug. 14

My mom stopped by this morning and dropped off more baby stuff. Just about every Sunday she's bringing over baby stuff. I think it was the week before last that I got overwhelmed because I hadn't yet washed or put away the previous weeks load. I'm very grateful for all she's done and purchased for us. Much of it is items that we truly need and would have never thought of. And the maternity clothes was a gigantic help! My mom has gotten me the great majority of my maternity clothes. bags upon bags of clothes of all sizes. Such a huge help when you wake up in the morning and something you wore last week no longer fits. you just move onto some of the other stuff that looked too big. there were many mornings that I wanted to cry because getting dressed was so difficult. I'm really down to just a few things that fit me now.

let's talk shoes. I'd like to wear some. it's been months since I've worn anything but sandals. I was at the store this week and there are super cute shoes out that I would love, love, love to wear. I think it was the 4th of July weekend and we were upnorth at gramma and grampa's and Brandon noticed how swollen my feet were. I honestly hadn't noticed it until he pointed it out. They started out not being too bad and they'd go down at night. Then they stopped going down and they just stayed huge. Brandon said I was all leg with little sausages. no ankles. They're a bit painful too. I can't wait to wear heals! Again, it goes back to feeling sexy. My husband may be in for a treat with all this pent up, um... agression. LOL

We went to 3 baby classes together. The birth class, all about baby class and the breast feeding class. I can't remember a lot of the details of any of them so I'm not sure if they were worth the money or not. I think they gave us more peace of mind that there wasn't a lot of earth shattering revelations which meant that we weren't as big of morons as we were thinking. The birth class was the most beneficial, I think. Brandon said it was mortifying. but it was really good information and watching the videos really put a lot of stuff into perspective for us. It was there that we decided that we don't want guests at the hospital until after the birth. We'd like to have time with our new baby, just the three of us before anyone else gets there. We're not talking days, just maybe hours.

Can't wait for our Wee-One to get here! This time next week, we'll be snuggling. :)

Ups and Downs

2010-02-11T18:14:00.002-06:00

Last week, I had lunch with my good friend Jolene. As we don’t see each other all that often, I thought I’d send a text to see if we could meet up over the lunch hour so I could share the baby news with her. It was a great lunch and it’s always great to see Jo-Jo. She was of course super excited and her and her fiancé Paul then sent Brandon and me a very cute, hand made baby card! Way to be crafty Paul! :)

Last Thursday night Neighbor Meg came over and helped me bake Baby Cookies. We had fun, chatting, baking and decorating in pink and blue frosting with sprinkles and candy pacifiers. Meg found the candies – she’s so creative! I brought the cookies to work on Friday to break the news to my coworkers – that was a lot of fun. They knew instantly! I got some hugs and lots of congrats.

This week the baby has been very naughty! Starting with Tuesday morning. I woke up CRABBY! And lucky for me, we were still in the middle of a snow storm that was making the commute to work just lovely. So I’d gotten up early (first alarm vs. 5th snooze like normal) to get a head start on the road. But by the time I left the house, for no good reason, I was so on edge that my jaw hurt. On my way in to work, the roads were awful. And there was this one guy that I swear really, really wanted to buy a new back end for our car. I made it in to work, on time and in one piece but… I was still waaaaay crabby.

My mood, ah.. didn’t necessarily get better but sort of leveled out about mid day, but as I came down from the angry state, I fell into a sad state. Mind you, nothing happened to cause any of this. By the time I was driving home I was in tears. I called my mom and she was kind enough to talk me down and distract me the whole way home so I could drive with clear vision.

But as soon as I walked in the door my poor unsuspecting husband asked how I was doing… oh boy. I fell apart. He came up to me and embraced me, patted my back, let me ball my eyes out, and told me it was going to be okay. Neither of us knows what “it” is, but I believe him. He instructs me to go upstairs and get my jammies on and once I did, I felt so much better. He’d ordered pizza and we ate and watched tv. The world was a better place, finally. Brandon then asked me “what’s my son up to today?” it took me a minute to get it… but I told him “reeking havoc”.

The following day I was all good…. Until I ate lunch. I had a chicken sandwich, baked potato, and milk. Some part of that the baby did NOT like. I struggled thru most of the remaining work day and ended up leaving a little early. I took an hour and a half nap when I got home and felt better afterwards. I love naps. Brandon and I went to poker and our friend Jodi made a very nice toast in which she announced to all our poker friends that in 18 years they can look forward to taking our kid’s money too! I’m thinking he/she is going to take theirs!!! Ha!

Today is a good day. I have a roast cooking in the crock pot at home so dinner will be done already. I think the crock pot is my new best friend, sorry Leslie. And we have no obligations or plans for the evening. Just jammies. Tomorrow night we’re having a valentines dinner with our good friends Josh and Linnea and then Saturday night we are meeting our good friends Red and Marci for Red’s birthday. None of which know our news yet, so that will be awesome! Saturday morning I'm meeting my mom, gramma and sister Angie for breakfast which will be very nice. Sunday we have a couples poker game – love’em / hate’em – at Gene and Jodi’s. busy busy

So much joy

2010-02-02T20:42:00.005-06:00

It's amazing to me the amount of joy our baby news is bringing to people. It surprises us both. We thought everyone would be happy, but we didn't expect such overwhelming excitement. Well, we knew Grampa Vern would be super excited, he's been wanted great-grand-babies since before we were married. When we announced our engagement, he said "I expect some babies pretty soon". We said "well how about we get married first" and he replied "well I suppose it's appropriate but you know it's not necessary!" :) so much for being old fashioned! Grampa never gave up hope. When we called he yelled in the background "I bet I know what it is!!!" Gramma Adele wasn't so sure as she, along with my mom and Brandon's mom, had figured we weren't going to have kids. Surprise!!! Like my dad said "I knew never would eventually come" as we'd always said never to kids.

So Sunday started out with brunch with my Dad and Laurie. I waited until my dad said "what's new" and then showed him the ultrasound and said "we're pregnant". The looks on their faces were priceless. they were stunned. there was a moment of silence as they stared at us until finally Laurie said "YOU are?" LOL I replied "well, mostly me, but yes, WE are". When the waiter came by Laurie announced that we're having a baby. And then the questions followed and my dad was continually smiling at me and nodding. Proud Grampa. :) He gave me a nice long hug at the door and said he was happy for us. We had also called Jackie, my stepsister, and announced it to her. She squeeled.

Next stop, my mom's. My mom is a bit more dramatic in nature, so her response is quite animated. Her and Don have recently begun building hillbilly photo frames out of trees that they cut... so we show up, unannounced... but I honked the horn profusely - as always (need to make sure people are decent). We walk in and she takes us around the house proudly showing us her recently completed hillbilly frames and clocks. We end up in the living room and I tell her that we have a photo she can frame, but it's just little. I hand it to her, she takes it and turns around to go into the dining room light but only gets a few steps away before she screams "oh Amy!" and comes running back and hugs me and Brandon. She's instantly shaking and crying and says she's nervous for some reason. Monday when we emailed she'd said she started knitting an outfit for the baby to come home in. And she printed a copy of the ultrasound and wrote on it and hung it in her cubicle for all to see. Proud Gramma. :)

At this point I'm absolutely exhausted and we decide to head home. We called my Gramma Bernie and Sister, Angie, on our way home and made our announcement. Angie squeeled and was very excited, Gramma too. I know they were dissapointed that we didn't stop by and I feel bad, but I was toast. My sister wrote me a nice email expressing her excitement and support.

We had a 2 hour nap when we got home. I'm a huge fan of naps now! When we woke up we called neighbors Meg and Joe to see if they wanted to have dinner for "Brandon's birthday". His birthday has served as an excellent cover. hehe. So, again we make our announcement. Meg got all teary eyed and Joe was absolutely surprised. He said "That's the last thing I expected to hear" Brandon said "me too!" too funny. Meg is going to be a blessing as a neighbor and auntie to this baby. And, she's going to be great at teaching me what the heck it is I'm supposed to do.

We called my Grampa Vern and Gramma Adele that night too. I can't wait for them to come back to MN. It'll be nice that the shower and the birth will be in the summer/early fall as they'll still be in MN. They did say that if our baby is anything like me, then I'm getting payback!

Today is Brandon's actual birthday. So again we used it as a cover up to get our good friends and poker buddies Gene, Jodi, Brad and Jill to go out to dinner with us. Jodi shared something and then Jill took out a magazine and was showing it so Brandon decided since it was show and tell time that he'd pull out the ultrasound photo. It has seriously come in handy. So he holds it out and Jodi is the first to recognize what it is and she covers her face with her hands and starts to cry and everyone catches on and congrats and oh my's go around. When the waitress comes around someone told her that there's a new baby in the family. We had some really hillarious chats about babies and pregnancy. I laughed so hard. Brandon actually said "So when they poop do you rub their nose in it and tell them NO!" LOL and then later I made a comment about a "baby baister" vs. a turkey baister... LOL good times!

All in all everyone was very supportive and very excited. We have several more good friends and coworkers yet to tell. It's so difficult to get together with everyone. Many of our long time friends don't live near us &/or we are not exactly running in the same circle anymore. I can't wait to share our news with them and I hope we get to soon.

We have a wonderful family and group of friends. We're very fortunate and our baby is going to be insanely spoiled.

Time to tell

2010-01-31T08:47:00.004-06:00

So, we had thought that we'd wait until March to tell anyone, but with the ultrasound being so positive and healthy, we felt that it was safe. Plus, Rana was considering coming home for Brandon's birthday. Also, it's proving to be a bit difficult to lie to and avoid people. Yesterday I went shopping with my good friend and neighbor, Meg and she flat out asked me if I was pregnant. I had to plead the 5th because I just couldn't lie. we'll tell her and her husband Joe later tonight I am sure.

Last night, Saturday the 30th, we got together with Brandon's family at his sister Kristen's house to celebrate his birthday. Rana unfortunately couldn't make it home, but she did call. While she was on the phone with Brandon, he asked me to get the photo (ultrasound). He said to Rana that he was showing his mom a photo... of the baby in Amy's belly. Then it got a little chaotic. Everyone was elated. Eyes teared up, hugs went around and questions flew. Brandon's dad hugged me so hard he choked me a little. It was an awesome moment.

Kristen, having had two kids, unloaded her library of books on us. She also offerred to host a baby shower and help with the registering for gifts. The assistance with registering is a gigantic relief. I got anxiety walking down the car seat ilse because there are so many to choose from. How do we know which is right? I've avoided looking at baby stuff because it makes my head swim.

So today we meet my dad and his wife for brunch and then we're going to stop by my mom's house and tell her and her husband. It's going to be another amazing day.

side note: the being tired and not sleeping thru the nights and being tired, so tired... it's killing me. If I'm so tired, why the heck can't I sleep?! seriously! Me and the Bronco babe are going to have to have a little talk. Oh, and in case you didn't hear, Brandon had once said that if he ever has a boy he wants to name it Bronco because it's the toughest name he can think of. LOL

first photo

2010-01-31T08:32:00.005-06:00

So, on 1.27.10 we had our early ultrasound. Amazing. Amazing. Brandon says the baby looks like a plucked turkey. The round thing is where the baby is getting it's nutrients. From the ultrasound, I'm actually only 7 weeks and 2 days along. The heart beat was 142 and everything is looking very healthy. Oh, and there's only one baby. A palm reader once told me I'd have twins.

Well, this was a bit more personal of an ultrasound. this wasn't the jelly on the belly one. It was an odd feeling to put my feet in stirrups while my husband sat beside me. And after she showed us what she was going to insert, yes, that's right... insert. I looked at Brandon and asked if he had anything to say. Not a peep. No smart ass comments or funny jokes. He did reach out and hold my hand. Once the screen lit up, all else was forgotten. The heart was beating so strong and bright - like a pulsing star. It was beautiful. Absolutely breathtaking. I could have stared at it forever.

Our new due date is September 13th, 2010.

whoa!

2010-01-26T18:28:00.008-06:00

Whoa! there's really no better way to capture the full extent of the news that we've been so blessed with... we're pregnant! yes, that's right! WHOA! I've been debating and putting off writing about it because it has seemed so surreal and frankly, I didn't want to to jinx it either. But, because my memory often fails me and I certainly do not want to lose a minute of any of this, I shall put it in writing. here goes:

1.2.10

I woke up Saturday morning and I wasn't feeling too peachy. I'd lost my appetite and really felt run down. I credited this to the several beers I'd had at the neighbors house the previous night as we had a late new years celebration of playing games, having snacks and beverages. I unfortunately probably shouldn't have been drinking, but who knew?! And I'm told that it's very normal and not anything to worry about as long as I have no more, which I have not.

1.3.10

So, Sunday morning I woke up and not feeling much different from Saturday. The real lack of appetite had me wondering. It was 2:30 pm before I attempted to eat anything and I wasn't feeling it then. I wasn't tossing cookies or anything, just didn't feel right and couldn't credit it to anything from the night before. While pushing my food around my plate, I announced to Brandon that I thought I might be prego. So we started chatting about taking a home test, but put it off.

1.4.10

Monday I went to work and I can't really recall but I don't know that i felt any different and my suspicions were high. At this point, I'm also pretty sure that I'm late for my period, but not really sure because it's on an inconsistent 30 to 35 day schedule. So that evening, while preparing dinner, Brandon and I make mention of the prego possibility again and without telling him, I spontaneously go take a home test. after staring at the stick for several minutes, trying to make sense of it and unsure of what my eyes are really seeing, I call Brandon upstairs to take a look. I said, look at this and tell me if you see what I see. He stepped in the bathroom, sees what I'm pointing at and promptly retreats like it was going to attack. So I go downstairs and he's sitting at the dinning room table. I hadn't really gotten a read on him because he'd said nothing so far, but when I looked at his face and then he picked up something, put it down, picked it up, put it down and pushed it away I realized he saw what i saw and he was stunned. whoa. At that moment, my nerves hit me and I barely made it to the bathroom - I nearly poo'ed my pants. We didn't talk about it at depth other than he wanted me to call my doctor and get seen.

1.5.10

Called my doctors office and they tell me that they accept the home test as a positive and I cannot see my primary physician that I have to go to a OBGYN but that they don't usually see you until 8 weeks. WTF?! I pass this disturbing info onto Brandon and he is less than satisfied. So I call them again. yes, we are panicking and I'm sure the ladies at the doctors office were annoyed with me. apparently, this isn't like the flu or a broken toe and there's nothing that a regular doctor can tell you or prescribe. hindsight, I totally get it. but in the moment, they should have a hot line for a "what to do when in a panic about being prego". So, I'm freaking out and Brandon's freaking out and we're not helping each other. I'm sorry to all my family and other friends, but I needed someone to talk to so I called my bff Leslie. her response?! "Whoa!" I shit you not! LOL Talking to her helped me - really just having someone to share it with was a relief. I know it hadn't even been 24 hrs, but still, it was killing me. Leslie later wrote me a very, very heartwarming email - very sweet. During the work day, my boss had asked me what's going on during our meeting and then later randomly stopped by my office and asked me how I'm doing, what's new, do I have any big news, etc. It was totally weird. slight paranoia. I know I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I can't imagine I was that transparent. Brandon and I had an excellent talk that night about how we felt, what we're going to do. When he said "I want to get a t-shirt that says - Daddy drinks because you cry" I knew that he had processed the news and thru his humor is dealing with it. We also decided that it's best if I told my boss right away. but we also agreed that I'd take just one more test to make sure.

1.6.10

Again, my boss randomly stops by my office with random, general questions. Paranoia is running rampant now and I'm feeling guilty. At the end of the day I ask him if he's going to be in the office the next day and he replies "why, what big news are you going to spring on me?" I kid you not. seriously, comments like this for two days have me going insane. I try to be evasive and say just wondering, nothing, wanted to chat about a job, this and that, but he's persistent and not buying it. maybe I am transparent. So I caved. I shut the door and blurted out - I'm pregnant. He said really? and then clasped his hands and smiled wide! proclaimed his excitement and happiness - and even tho he said really, he didn't seem surprised. no whoa's. he said he figured it'd be soon and had very encouraging things to say and it was very reassuring for both Brandon and I.

On a personal note, Brandon and I are very excited now and we're just really hopeful that we have a healthy, happy baby. Although we were a bit caught off-guard, this wasn't an accidental pregnancy. We decided to just let nature do it's thing and have a little fun in the meantime. I think we both felt like we had 4, 6, 8 months or more to have our fun, but as it turns out mother nature felt we were ready now. Looks like all those years of paying for prescriptions really paid off! :)

Brandon does ask me periodically if I can feel if it's a boy yet. He also tells me to take care of his son when I leave for the store. And the other day I got reprimanded for not answering my cell - "you know, if you're going to continue with this pregnant thing, you really need to have your phone on". He's a protective daddy already. If we do have a daughter, I have no doubt we will love her wholly. I will feel bad for her when she goes to prom in a snow suit. but, between the two of us, she's likely to be a tom-boy anyway.

I know I'm only 8 weeks along, but the physical changes are notable. Without the graphic details, I will just go on record by saying things are swollen, sensitive and items of clothings are going to have to go up in size already. And, Brandon is a bit in aw - he's got a whole new wife. I'm a bit bewildered. I'm also extremely tired. ALL the time. Really, really tired. This will be the toughest part for me.

We had purchased a couple books and some vitamins, but that's it for people we've told - we decided to wait until the recommended 13 weeks to tell everyone else. And there haven't been any more big moments until 1.25.10 when we had our first prenatal visit. This was just an educational visit to go over do's and don't's, family history, and take some tests - urine and blood - 5 viles of blood! I couldn't believe it! at any rate, I'm supposedly 8 weeks along now and that means I can have an early ultrasound. It's scheduled for tomorrow 1.27.10. it will tell us the size and progress of the fetus and we should get a better idea of due date. right now it's estimated at 9.04.10.

more to come...

Conrad Confessions

2009-12-29T14:05:00.000-06:00

My fun-loving mother so sweetly nicknamed me Conrad when I was oh-so-little. I recently asked her why and she honestly can't remember other than she knew I hated it proclaiming "I NOT CONRAD!" Much teasing went on in our house. We were merciless with the teasing. Conrad would get to me, but there was one name, two simple little words (or just the acronym would do), that you didn't dare utter unless you wanted to start the WWIII....

C.B. eerrrr. I shutter to think of it! it stands for.... sigh... Cry Baby. argh!

C.B., C.B., you're a C.B. .......evil. evil. evil.

And, I WAS the baby in the house. the youngest of two... But, it wasn't just me that these words could bring to a boiling temper tanterum, oh no! not just me. :) Right Nache? Yes, my sister couldn't bare to be called a C.B. either. We were all awful in the teasing department. I beleive this is where I learned to find a lot of humility.

Not only a blonde moment, but an Amy moment

2009-12-29T14:00:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm not a nurse, doctor, chiropractor, or any other professional whom would have had to deeply study the human anatomy. However, I've been told that there are some things that we somehow should just know.. like, Da!

These are the things in life that often escape me... I'm the "da".

A key factor into this Amy Moment is that this had taken place very early on in my dating relationship with Brandon. Much before we were ever living together. This is back in the day when we actually had those things you call "dates". This is key.

So, we're spending some cozy time at my place; just hanging out and watching TV. Brandon was sitting on the couch and I came over to sit on his lap (like young couples do). He responds "oh, don't do that. I have to pee & you're pushing on my bladder." I stared at him - I'm sure as though I thought he was full of hooey. (that's sh!t in Amy language).

He says "What? I really do have to pee." And, in my infamous wisdom, I unfortunately respond "Ya, but guys don't have bladders."

Seriously, I'm not sure why he didn't run for the hills.

He thought we'd entertain this theory and asked "Well, then where do you think we keep it?" and, in yet another bright moment I answer "In your peeny." (girls have hoo-hoos)

In short, I was wrong.

This has been a favorite family story. In fact, it was shared with his aunt, uncle and cousin on their way to see our new born neice. As we were all oogling and awing over little Hannah, I was asked about bladders... nice.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as they have because I'm fairly certain, I will never live it down!

Machinery + Amy = bad times for Brandon

2009-12-29T13:42:00.003-06:00

Well, I've done it again folks. My handy work has caused my husband a wee bit of stress and work, and possibly money. So, it's winter in MN and with that comes snow and snow plows. Now, I'll build my defense... there was NO snow on our driveway and it had not been snowing. Therefore, who would think to look for large piles of snow at the end of the driveway? That sneaky snow plow came by left a nice gift at the end of our driveway, but who knew? not me.

So I blindly back out of the driveway and not until my back wheels had gone into it and I heard the loud crunching and scraping of the underside of the car did I realize that I'd done a bad thing. But I was half way thru, so what can you do? So I continued across and into the street. I put the car in drive and accelerated, and it seems, but I can't be certain, that the car is a bit throaty. So I test it, and yes, it's true. crud. Luckily for me, this was our older Grand Am and not the newer Mazda. but still..

Learning from my mistake, I decided not to do the same thing twice when I returned home. So I parked on the street and got the snow blower out. I started to try to clear the snow, but the snow blower was not chewing thru it. This is when i learned it's actually ice and that snow blowers do not chew thru ice very well. So the thing clogs and shuts off. I panic, because this is Brandon's new toy. I cleared out the ice and with great relief it starts back up. I pull the lever to spin the blades and there's a loud clunking sound. aaaaah crud. I swiftly put it in the garage and get a shovel to finish the path. and then I anxiously await Brandon's arrival home from work.

He recieved the news about the car well... but not so much for the snow blower. I really, really, really hope that it's minor. maybe a piece of ice is lodged in there and all it needs to do is melt? can I be that lucky??? we'll see... I keep his life exciting. I'm pretty sure.

A lesson in history

2009-10-31T08:47:00.000-05:00

Okay, so not only was anatomy NOT a strong topic for me, but history was also not so great. This came to light for Brandon one night when we were watching the food channel. We love the food chanel.

So, I was laying in bed while Brandon was folding his clothes. The Throw Down with Bobby Flay was on and they were doing a Philadelphia cheese steak cook off. For their guest judge, they had none other than Benjamin Franklin himself. Me, in my Amy-moment-fashion, says to Brandon "That's not really him, is it?" note the question mark. and damned if I didn't say it in question tone too. When Brandon turned and looked at me, the look on his face gave me the answer to my question. then he asks "are you serious?"

I pulled the blanket over my head and wondered why I couldn't have made that a statement rather than a question. Did you know that Benjamin Franklin is long passed? and I have to say, although I've obviously never seen the man, it was a damn good look-alike. so there. that's my defense.

Women make the world go 'round

2009-10-25T13:38:00.002-05:00

Yes. yes they do. I'm fortunate to be surrounded with strong intelligent women. I have been all my life. I know I've spoken a lot about my Grampa Shorty, but really, he and I couldn't have had all our shinanigans without my Gramma Bernie. My sister and my gramma were always together shopping and what not, whereas I would choose to get muddy and cause chaos with Grampa.

Even so, Gramma did take us girls on "dates". We'd go to movies... Gramma would bring the largest purse ever and fill it with candy bars and sodas... :) sorry movie theatres! She'd take us shopping. We'd get a set amount of money and get to pick out whatever we wanted for Christmas, but then Gramma would take the gifts and wrap them... by the time Christmas rolled around, we'd have mostly forgotten what we purchased. We'd go to the local pizza parlor and Gramma would bring lots of quarters so we could play Ms. Packman and Gallaga!!! ah yeah. We'd go to Circus Circus (a large arcade). Again with lots of quarters, but we also happened to have a close family friend that worked there and he'd bring us buckets of tokens and tickets to play and win all kinds of crazy toys. We'd be there for hours. Gramma would just sit and drink coffee in the dining area and us girls would just go until we got bored.

When Gramma wasn't entertaining us kids or shopping with Angie, she was working - or cleaning - or roofing the house - or cleaning the cars - or sweeping the porch. Seriously, if I had a fraction of the energy of that woman, I'd.... probably drive Brandon more nutz. :) And she still does all of that. She still works; full time. She loves to work and stay busy. Gramma did take several years off of work to care for Grampa when his health deteriorated. Amazing the stuff she put up with to care for him - and apparently he wasn't the easiest patient - imagine that!? :)

Gramma always has worked later hours - getting home several hours after most kids should be sound asleep. Grampa and I would wait in the front window to see Gramma's headlights turn into the drive so we could turn on the yard light for her and greet her. She'd come in and promptly proceed to make us dinner. Yes, that's right. She just worked a full day and got home late at night, only to make us dinner - we had a long day too of... playing, afterall. We'd eat things like fried egg sandwiches, mashed potatoes with creamed corn, braunschweger sandwiches with butter... just really yummy, nutritious, late night food. :)

What's with Gramma's and food? :) Gramma Bernie always stocked the house for us with all sorts of goodies. Angie and I each had our own cupboard fully stocked with all our favorite snacks. Slim Jims were always a hot commodity.

Gramma managed to keep us well fed, and entertained and with the house kept, working full time, all while putting up with Grampa Shorty and maintianing her class. She's truly a classy lady.

Who the heck invented stairs?

2009-10-25T11:36:00.001-05:00

Stairs are my nemisis. You'd think it's an easy concept. You navigate them by going up one step at a time, or going down, one step at a time. Sounds simple enough... but oh no, I haven't mastered this concept. I think it's mostly because I'm careless or rushing or... maybe it goes back to when I was a kid and I'd run full speed in one direction while looking in the opposite direction. yep, that sounds right.

I fall down stairs. I fall up stairs.(yes, it can be done) I've forgotten that there are just two more stairs before the bottom - this can really hurt. There isn't a week that goes by that I don't yell out in pain after a loud thunk of some sort and Brandon comes running "Amy? Are you all right?" I only hear my real name when I'm in trouble or out of concern. 8 out of 10 times, it involves stairs. They hate me.

I can laugh at myself, and as I've mentioned, I also enjoy laughing at others. And I'm not the only one who's ate it on the stairs.

When I was an evil teenager (as all teens are) I lived with my Dad and his then girlfriend, Sue. Her and I were home alone, I was in my room - my teenage lair, when all of a sudden I heard and felt the vibration of a loud "thunk-a-bump-a-thunk-a-bump-a-thunk" and then nothing. silence.

So, I go to investigate. I called out "Sue?" and heard nothing. I went over and stood at the top of the stairs leading down to the basement, and there she was. Laying at the very bottom looking up at me, arms and legs spread out.

I couldn't contain myself. I started laughing so hard and I knew, just knew she would NOT be amused at my deep amusement... so I had to walk away. Yes, I'm awful for not having helped her up. But seriously, it rendered me... useless. Because I was caught in a fit of laughter and could not function. Maybe it's just me, but after hearing the thunks and looking down at her spread out at the bottom, it just struck me as damn funny. Sorry Sue! I'm glad you weren't truly hurt.

Ass over tea-kettle

2009-10-25T11:16:00.002-05:00

One day, several years ago, my late Great-Gramma Mable (Dad's Gramma) had been diagnosed with breast cancer (not so funny, I know, but just wait...) Gramma was into her 90's and old age was taking it's toll, such as hearing.

As a family, we took Gramma Mable to her appointment to have this cancer removed. So, Grampa Vern drove with Great-Gramma Mable in the passenger seat and Gramma Adele perched in the center of the back seat, leaning forward to speak directly into Great-Gramma's ear. Dad and I followed in a seperate car.

As we were waiting to take a left turn across oncoming traffic into the hospital lot, Grampa decided to go for it. Seriously, this makes me chuckle. So he guns the gas of his Cadillac and the car lurches forward and left, while Gramma Adele goes ass over teakettle backwards in the back seat. All I could see was her feet go up in the air and then..... no more Gramma.

Oh, I cried so hard becuase I was laughing so hysterically. Needless to say, my grampa really got a tongue lashing which only enhanced my amusement. We were in the lobby, my eyes all puffy and my amusement barely contained, when they walked in. I don't think Gramma had realized that we witnessed it but she did once she saw me.

I don't know what it is, but I just cannot help it. I seriously find other's misfortunes extremely funny. Although my Gramma Adele found little to no amusement in it as she rarely finds Grampa Vern's mishaps funny, it was a welcomed distraction to the day's events and I'll never ever forget the image of her feet in the air! It just tickles me.

Fam-Damily

2009-10-25T10:11:00.002-05:00

As you may have noticed, my grandparents' house was a unique and fun place to be. In fact, my parents had to schedule times for me and my sister to come home so my grandparents could have some time without us kids. While we spent a lot of time at my grandparents', I do have other family...

I've mentioned my sis, AKA: Ang, Nache, Angus, Angela Rae. She's my elder by 4 years and we've not always got along. Especially as kids. She showed little mercy, but I have got to say that after watching back the family videos, I was one annoying little girl. :) in fact, there was one home movie that I was viewing with my husband and he couldn't take it anylonger so he got up and while leaving the room said "boy, you were annoying"... oops.

My Mom, AKA: Bev, Duck, Duck Butt, Momma Poo, Beverly Ann. I hear a lot of "you look just like your mother". My mom is a creative individual. Like my Grampa Shorty (her dad), Mom is quarky and does what she pleases without concern of how she's perceived. She's built a 9' tall rocking chair which she proudly displays in her yard among dozens of other crafty ideas. She can make anything "hillbilly style".

My Dad, AKA: Scooter, Scee-Wee, Scott. He's an avid motorcycle rider, snow-mobiler, boater, really - he does all the activities that I love. I once went skydiving with Dad in AZ when I was 16 (I mean.. cough.. cough.. Angie did since she would've been the one of age) :) We went to Sturgis together for a few years too. Dad always said I rode my motorcycle like I stole it, but hey, I learned from the best! I've since sold my bike. :(

My Grandparents (Dad's side) AKA: The Folks, Vern & Adele, Gramma or Gram and Grampa. creative, I know. They've always lived "up north" on a lake in the warmer climates and in the past 10 years or so have traveled to AZ in the winter months. I love visiting them. Gramma has the best cooking ever and Grampa has always had the best toys (what is it with grampas and having lots of toys?!) Upnorth is where I learned to fish (still won't touch anything that moves), four-wheel, boat, water ski, snowmobile, shoot pool, throw darts, shuffle board, etc. As a kid I would bring friends upnorth for a week while my parents were in Sturgis. My husband absolutely loves our trips north and he considers them his grandparents as well.

Showing off doesn't always pay off

2009-09-20T16:36:00.001-05:00

One winter, me, my husband Brandon, and our good friend Tuna (AKA Erik), were all going out. I was often their sober driver. At this time we lived in a town house where we had a little extra parking spot that, in the winter, filled with ice. So, I'd learned this little trick when I was backing out of the driveway that I'd gun the car and turn the wheel and slide out and sideways, ending up facing out of the driveway. I thought it was a cute trick and I decided I'd impress the boys. So, I go for it and as we're flinging out of the garage, Tuna all of a sudden yells "My car, My car!"

Oh, but it's far too late. We're sliding across the ice and there's no stopping now. The rear end of my car smashes into the front end of his car. We all sit there stunned. Tuna, the sweety he is, says "It's okay, I'm sure there's more damage on your car than mine. And besides, nobody got hurt." It was nice of him to say, but it didn't appease Brandon. No. Brandon said "just go". that's all I got out of him for several miles down the road. He was not amused and he was thoroughly embarrassed.

So yes, if you're keeping score, I've smashed the back end of my car and the front end of his car. Hey, I AM a good driver... maybe a little reckless... or maybe, and actually this is certain, I'm simply accident prone... in everything I do.

I cause him more work...

2009-08-31T18:40:00.000-05:00

Brandon and I have this agreement that we do not get eachother anything for holidays, birthdays, etc. However, I'm apparently in the habit of providing him the least desirable of gifts on his Birthday. Here are two tales of the two birthdays in which I gave my husband a headache for his gift.

February, 2007 - the week of Brandon's birthday. I have such a handy husband and the fact that he works at a dealership makes it all the more convenient for car maintenance. One morning, Brandon was kind enough to take my car to work while I took his. I left the house shortly before he did and was making my way thru the country back roads towards work.

At one point in the trip the road comes to a T and traffic backs up. So, I'm behind this town car who's turning left and I'm waiting to turn right. He procedes forward as though he's going, but.. nope... he stops.

I was looking for my traffic - assuming he was going - and BANG! The man gets out of his car and I get out of my car and we chat and decide to pull into a farmers yard. by this time, the traffic has really backed up. Several cars back, in my car, is Brandon. I call him and he answers the phone with "What'd you do?!" not a good sign... He says "What's you do?!" often to me, and for good reason.

Brandon joins us in the farmers yard and handles talking to the guy (who laughed when he learned my husband was there), exchanges info, and then Brandon tries to calm me down before we get back on the road. I don't know why, but I balled the whole way to work.
That's the day I gave my husband a broken bumper for his birthday

February, 2008 - This year we went all out. Every day we had something planned. Dinner with family, party at our house, super bowl at our house with family, trip to the casino, etc.
The non-stop events of the weekend proved to be very strenuous and wearing, especially on the birthday boy. His patience had worn thin.

So, why not give him a gift (Amy style)?! When his entire family was at our house I had told his sister that I'd borrow her a purse. I was looking and looking but couldn't remember where... so I thought I'd look on the top shelf in our closet (well, Brandon's closet).

I couldn't see and hadn't anything to step on, so I place one foot on a wire shelf then the other on the opposite and BOOM! Apparently, the opposite had been screwed into sheet rock only. And did you know, that sheet rock will rip out of the wall with the screws and brackets? yep! Story checks out.

All of Brandon's jeans, t-shirts, shorts, etc came crashing down. I ran to the hallway and signaled for Brandon's dad to come up and not tell Brandon. So, he comes up and assesses the damage. To my dismay, it was not a quick fix before Brandon finds out.

Brandon asks where I am and I hear Brandon's mom yell "You're not supposed to go up there!" shit! Busted. I think I killed the last thread of his patience and in front of his family... Kicker is: the item wasn't even up there!!
That's the day I broke my husband's closet for his birthday.

The day the lights went out

2009-08-30T08:45:00.000-05:00

As encouraged by my dear friend Leslie, it's my pleasure to share with you an amusing tale of why my husband's life is never dull.

Let's see... One day, a day like any other, Brandon and I had gone out to dinner. When we arrived home we went to change into our "comfies" (this is ritual).

We hadn't turned on any lights but the bathroom light, which lit the bedroom well enough. So, as I was changing into my sweatshirt, all of a sudden it went completely dark!!! I yelled at Brandon a very stern "HEY!"

In return he yells from only five feet away "WHAT?!"

As I removed my hood from over my face, I mumbled "nevermind". And then proceded to turn my sweatshirt around.

That's the day the lights went out in Amyville.

Up in the treetop

2009-08-28T18:46:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid, I was always climbing trees. If you needed to find me, just look up. I was likely to be as high up as I could manage. I was a little monkey, but A LOT less graceful.

We lived on a dirt road in between suburban cities. Last dirt road within miles. There were four houses on our block, if you can call it that. One was my granparent's, the next was where my grampa grew up but was now owned by a non-relative, the next in line was a cousin's, and then my house. If you hadn't guessed, we lived very close to our grandparents.

So our school bus would come down our dirt road and pick us up at my house. Because we lived in a cold climate state and had to face the eliments, my parents built us a busstop shelter. Really, tho, it was a light salmon painted out-house. As we got older, we'd sooner face the elements than be caught inside it.

One spring in the 80's, while me and the neighbor boy (no relation) were awaiting the bus's arrival, I of course, was climbing a tree - I mean, what else would I be doing? These were the days when Zubas, diaper pants, hammer pants, parachute pants (call them what you will) were in style (you with me?). As the bus was approaching, I attempted to jump from the tree in my graceful style. My baggy bottoms got snagged on a branch part way down and not only ripped my pants, but held me dangling from the tree as the bus driver approached. I finally managed to get down and the driver was kind enough to wait while I ran inside and changed.

Luckily for me, we were the first pickup on the route. Even so, the neighbor boy witnessed it and I was horribly em-bare-assed.

Driving Miss Daring

2009-08-27T17:57:00.001-05:00

I learned to drive at a very young age, and not just a car. Like the animals, Grampa collected all sorts of stuff. All of which we had full access to. We'd ride dirt bikes, mopeds, and go-carts up and down the deep ditches along the highway while cars zoomed passed (yes, I'm a thrill seaker).

We had tractors - when I was really little, we thought it was the absolute coolest that Grampa would give us "train tractor" rides. He'd hook up a string of mis-matched wagons (one of which had a porta-potty chair in it which served as a seat) hooked up behind his mowing tractor that had the infamous car-hood ornament secured to the front and we would chug along with all the kids (friends, cousins, anyone) piled on board, wherever we could fit. He'd make a big hooplah out of it, honking the horns (oh yes, grampa had many horns - the loudest and craziest possible, because he was loud, in everyway) and letting everyone know, here we come, ready or not.

We also had a yellow large tractor with a scoop on front that he'd give us rides in and we'd pick apples at the top of trees, unicycles (Yes, I can ride a Unicycle!), a three-wheeled bike with a basket on it, etc. (I do a lot of etc.'s because the list could seriously go on and on, but you get it, it was crazy.)

Grampa had a gold-colored crysler convertable. This was my car - I couldn't have been more than 12 yrs old. All Grampa said is that if I got caught (meaning pulled over by the police) that he'd tell them I stole it. This was enough to deter me from going much farther than our dirt road. One cold and snowy winter, I had my 3 bestest, closest gal-pals over. (sadly, I later grew apart from my friends because I moved) Us girls had just gotten done putting dreads, which were really just a bunch of itty bitty braids, all over our heads.

The four of us piled into the gold convertable with me behind the wheel (just us kids), put the top down and drove around with the 20 degree wind blowing thru our white-girl braids. good times.

Two pees in a pod

2009-08-26T21:00:00.008-05:00

Grampa shorty and I were a pair. My sister Angie (aka, Ang or Nache) and my Gramma Bernie were a pair.

Every Saturday we'd go into the city, we'd drop Gramma and Ang off at the Goodwill to go shopping while Grampa and I would go slummin' in the city and hang out at the bar with grampa's "ingin" friends.

Disclaimer: Grampa wasn't exactly politically correct about, well, anything. My quoting of him is just that.

At this one particular bar in which we frequented (Rosies), Rosie had a lamp which had multiple color lights that went around and around. It wasn't so much a lamp as it was a beer logo'd bar decoration, but I was young and I was absolutely fascinated by it. I'd just sit and stare at it. Grampa thought I should have it so he purchased it for me. Rosie said I could have it, but Grampa was a generous man and he gave her some money so his little side kick could have her mesmurizing beer lamp.

Every day of the week, my grandparents go to breakfast - at one of two local restraunts. In the afternoon, Gramma would go to work and Grampa and I would go out to "coffee" to "shoot the shit" with his old-geezer buddies at one of these same restraunts (when I go there now, they said I'm VIP! LOL). Ever watch Grumpy Old Men??? this was it, except not so much as grumpy, but dirty & funny. They'd harrass the waitresses and staff, share the same dirty jokes over and over, and we'd play cribbage.

sometimes, during the school year, I'd play sick so I could go to "Breakfast" and "Coffee". I mean, what kid wouldn't? I'd be allowed to have Pepsi , a plate of french fries, and a bowl of pickles for my meal - and they'd let me drink all the little creamers on the table too! When I was much younger, I'd walk into the kitchen, so little and barely talking, and say "ickle". The cooks thought it'd be funny to give me a tomato, but I knew... I wanted "ickles".

My Grampa Shorty loved to make people laugh or in the very least, get a rise out of people - whichever happened first. He was outrageous! He was kind. He was ... strong willed... :) He wouldn't give a "rat's ass" what others thought and "If you don't like my gate, don't swing on it." He was very, very well known for his potty mouth... "well i'll be a son-of-a-bitch".

Grampa Shorty was a character beyond all others. He was my best buddy and I, his. We were inseperable.

Funny Farm

2009-08-23T10:31:00.013-05:00

Life on the hobby farm (oh, yes, we didn't farm cows here, we farmed shinanigans, laughter and fun) with Grampa Shorty included "truck rides" with kids piled in the back of the pickup truck barelling thru mud puddles and corn fields. The "monkey cage" that we climbed on top to swing off by rope swing and bounce off the tree (us kids were the monkeys). Summers of priming the pump to get a drink of water only for it to turn into a water fight. Climbing on roof tops and shucking feed kernal corn off the cob to throw down on grampa's head below. Cooking left over vegetables & seed for the animals over a barrel of fire "out back" (because animals liked their food cooked, you know!?!).

We'd get up insanely early on weekends to go to animal auctions where we'd purchase the craziest, most unique animals we could find. We had floppy eared bunnies, peacocks, donkeys, trainable pigeons (they did tricks when he whistled), white rats, a dog (Toby the fat chihauha) that thought he was a cat (he slept in the cat-coupe among the dozen or so cats we had), and so many more. There was nothing average about anything we did.

Grampa almost always had some baby animal - a bunny, bird, rooster tucked inside his flannel shirt or front pocket - and he'd bring them along to my preschool or he'd sneak them into the local restraunt to show off. He also was known for the donkey which he'd bring to my preschool and, yes, the restraunt too. It was a traveling hobby farm.

Name Calling

2009-08-23T09:46:00.007-05:00

There's no better "starting at the beginning" than with Grampa "Shitty" Shorty. At a young, young age, this is what I was taught to call my grampa, by his truly. He thought it was cute, this little squeeky-voiced toe-head learning naughty jokes and calling him by a cuss. One can only sum it up by, that was Shorty! It really says it all.

He called me by: Angie, Ray, Steve, Bev, Frank - or really any other family member's name before he made it around to Amy. And sometimes, he'd skip all that and just call me something like Shithead or Asshole. :) No matter what, I answered and you know, that's just Grampa Shorty.

He had many names, some not always so endearing... Before the internet was ever invented, my Gramma Bernie would curse my grampa saying "ah, you Yahoo". How weird is that?! She should have rights!!! I called him Grampa. My friends called him Grampa - he was everyone's grampa. His friends called him Shorty or Shitty Shorty. My uncle Steve called him Captain. My mom called him Short. His birth name was Raymond. (No one called him Raymond, infact, few knew who that was)

Grampa Shorty was a character. Anyone who had the pleasure of knowing him, can only describe him as such... a character. There's no other way to describe him. In following posts, I'll share the insane stories of life growing up with Grampa. The farm, the daily routines, the laughs, the fun. He was a vital human being and his stories are ... something else.

AmyLou Who?

2009-08-23T08:59:00.001-05:00

Welcome! I'd like to introduce myself. really, I would. but where to begin.. ?

Here are a few of the unique names I've picked up over the years.... Last Minute Lou, PeeWee, LouLou, Pooh, Popp-o, Peeny (yes I know), Nunny, Ammers, Tutti-Fruiti, Ames, Charlie Brown (I really don't know), Amanator (watch out, she'll get cha'), Emmy Lou, Conrad, Precious, Bunny, etc.

I have so many aliases from so many stories and characters in my life. I hope to share these quarky stories and amazing characters so that you too can laugh, some at my expense, as laughter is so key to existence.

Please stop back periodically as I plan to share hilarity as it ensues &/or is recollected (in no particular order). gotta keep ya on your toes.. :)

Yours Truly,
... Me